Marriage and the Lustful Man

“I love my wife but…..” I had heard that line so many times before, I could have finished the sentence for him, maybe even written it down for him, so he wouldn’t have to struggle with his words, should he need to repeat them – which he most likely would.  I have heard that line so many times, I can sense in a man’s body language, from across a crowded room, that he’s about to say it “I love my wife but….” 

I am not talking about those married men out on the prowl, that we all know about, looking for women who will listen to their lies, of how their wives don’t understand them, don’t listen to them, don’t have sex with them anymore.  I’m not talking about those low lives.

I’m talking about excellent attentive husbands – who remember wedding anniversaries, respect their wives and are best friends with them.  Good fathers – the kind that leave work early to go to their kids basketball games, who have dozens of photos and videos of their kids on their phones.  Good men, good people  who – happen to like sex, dirty, sweaty, “let’s fuck in the bathroom at our nephew’s baptism” animal sex, just…..not with their wives.

I have a good friend who’s married, great husband, awesome dad, who, watches enough porn for all of the men on this planet.  If he loses internet access and can’t get to his favorite porn site, he has a guy he can call, who can bring a binder full of porn DVDs to his house he can choose from.  Another guy I know is a habitual dirty texter, fulfilling all his dirty fantasies with women via text, another guy is a strip club regular.

There’s a lot of masturbation going on, so I had to ask, why don’t they just have wild, crazy sex with their wives, and they all gave a variation of the same answer.  They love and respect their wives too much, they make love to not fuck their wives, they are attracted to their wives sexually but would never just pull up her skirt and fuck her in the car.  A lot of Madonna/Whore issues and a lot of assumptions as to what she may or may not want to do.

All good sex starts with communication, if you don’t ask for something you won’t get it, there are no mind readers.  The woman you married, who you respect and adore, who loves you for you, who sees in you what you can’t see in yourself, who’s comfortable sitting in silence watching a movie with you holding your hand, just may, on occasion, actually like getting fucked so hard it leaves her breathless.

Marriage is a life commitment and if you marry someone you’re going to be having sex with them for the rest of your life so, why not make it interesting?  Find out if she’s into hot, naughty sex, talk dirty to each other, try something new, if you don’t like it, don’t do it again.  There are some, less adventurous wives, who actually don’t mind and encourage their husband’s strip clubs visits, watching porn, sexting with other women (that should always be done with women she doesn’t know and will never meet – it’s less threatening) they feel, as long as he’s coming home for it, they don’t care where he’s getting the inspiration from and in some cases it actually makes them feel more connected to each other.  Personally I think that’s a fair compromise, there is no lying, all the cards are on the table, no hurt feelings.  Then again I’ve never been in this conundrum, I’m the one who usually hears…..

“I love my wife but…..”   No worries my sweet man, I already know what it is that you need, and if it’s ok with your wife, here’s my number, sext me……maybe.